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young woody 4:07 Thu Nov 29
Worst place you’ve had a poo.

New Forrest for me as a young man just simply couldn’t hold on.

Earlier today I was desperate and considered pooing into a box and then take to our skip. However I made it to the local pub instead.

nychammer 7:46 Fri Nov 30
Re: Worst place you’ve had a poo.

Apartment hunting a few years back. Looking around the show apartment when the urge struck. There were a few other people in there looking around but what hell this wasn’t going to wait. Went into the bathroom, seems ok so let rip. Tried the flush and nothing....water was not on. Luckily There was some residual water but not enough to cover it and the end of the turd was sticking out and stinking the place up. Finished up and left smartish as the other people were starting to realize something was amiss. Didn’t buy the place.

only1billybonds 7:33 Fri Nov 30
Re: Worst place you’ve had a poo.

Mr Anon.

That is one of my favourute who story's,i was in tears reading it for the first time. Think the bloke called himseld Duffster.

eusebiovic 7:02 Fri Nov 30
Re: Worst place you’ve had a poo.

Many years ago on a ferry from Ramsgate to Oostende - it was the middle of winter and the sea was as rough as fuck...it shouldn't have sailed that day the waves were rocking the thing all over the place.

I had a sloppy shit which no amount of toilet paper can clean up and it was the greaseproof variety as well. Iwas sick at the same time.The toilet wouldn't flush and it seemed like the whole boat was full of green faced people puking, shitting or both at the same time like a zombie b-movie.

Until that day I had always thought seasickness was a myth.

Grim times in the early 90's

Alfs 6:02 Fri Nov 30
Re: Worst place you’ve had a poo.

On Richard Keys' chest. Not pleasant, I admit, but he gave me 250 quid.

Troy McClure 4:07 Fri Nov 30
Re: Worst place you’ve had a poo.

Northern Sold 2:05 Fri Nov 30

Yep. Filth.

VirginiaHam 4:00 Fri Nov 30
Re: Worst place you’ve had a poo.

There's not too much scenery in Tooting.

Gloves.........hmmmmmmmm.

scott_d 3:56 Fri Nov 30
Re: Worst place you’ve had a poo.

VirginiaHam 12:33 Fri Nov 30
Re: Worst place you’ve had a poo.

I had to stop for a dump at Wandsworth Town railway station in the middle of a 6 mile run on a Sunday morning. Completely fucks the run up.

Had to wipe my arse on the front page of a days old 'Sun' newspaper, since , of course there was no toilet paper.

---

This is why I wear gloves on my long runs and make sure I take a scenic route!

scott_d 3:54 Fri Nov 30
Re: Worst place you’ve had a poo.

6am on a bridge in the middle of Berlin.

Stubbo 2:19 Fri Nov 30
Re: Worst place you’ve had a poo.

In the dark, on a public sleeper train through China, hole in the ground style affair, many before me had clearly had a wonky aim, terrible smell, and hard to know if bare foot for the ability to subsequently clean easily, or covered feet and then throw away the stained articles was the best way forward.

Not a pleasant experience.

Northern Sold 2:05 Fri Nov 30
Re: Worst place you’ve had a poo.

... what the one in Somerset Troy??

Troy McClure 2:04 Fri Nov 30
Re: Worst place you’ve had a poo.

Burnham-on-sea

Mr Anon 2:02 Fri Nov 30
Re: Worst place you’ve had a poo.

Who was it that had the story of having Delhi Belly abroad, going in a bush, only to be bowled over by a herd of stray puppies who then preceded to have their fill. Was the funniest story I've read on here

Northern Sold 1:58 Fri Nov 30
Re: Worst place you’ve had a poo.

About 6 of us stayed round a MATES house in Islington yonks back.... we stayed down stairs crashing out on sofas etc... my MATE gets up can't find the bog.. so thinks the best place to curl one out is the porch... which is fine apart from my MATES bird who had to get up early to go to work on the Saturday morning trod in my mates Shit... never stayed there again

Mace66 1:55 Fri Nov 30
Re: Worst place you’ve had a poo.

Oh, my mate encouraged me ( in a very pissed up state i should add ) to shit against a waste bin at 3am on the main drag in Sheffield about 10 years ago. Fortunately no coppers around

Mace66 1:53 Fri Nov 30
Re: Worst place you’ve had a poo.

I occasionally get caught short when out running, the worst being about a year ago, approaching the local park and i was so desperate that i was hobbling into the entrance. Took a quick turn into a quiet corner, oblivious to anyone who might be around and parked myself up against a tree and unloaded. The relief was immense. Then i noticed a little old lady walking her dog towards me .. awkward !!

More recently i did similar in the same park on my morning run, but in an overgrown copse and noticed somebody looking towards me through the trees as i did the business. Thought i'd be well hidden but she managed to seek me out the bitch !! That evening my wife was on her phone and laughing at somebody who reported on Facebook seeing somebody shitting in the undergrowth in the park that morning :-) Sounds like something you'd do, she said to me .....

Russ of the BML 10:11 Fri Nov 30
Re: Worst place you’ve had a poo.

Sue Perdupa 6:35 Thu Nov 29

LOL!! That is brutal.

bloodinmepoo 8:20 Fri Nov 30
Re: Worst place you’ve had a poo.

Anyway it was one Sunday morning whilst banging the missus.
NEVER TRUST A FART!

bloodinmepoo 8:15 Fri Nov 30
Re: Worst place you’ve had a poo.

No comment.

only1billybonds 5:43 Fri Nov 30
Re: Worst place you’ve had a poo.

This is not so much a desperate story,more like a tale of 'revenge shit A plasterer i know was on a job for some mega rich sort down in Highgate. Apparently this woman was a complete and utter cunt,spoke to the lads like shit and generally treated them like the lowest form of life. Getting towards the end of the job the woman announces she's going out for the day and tells the boys not to nick anything'. and to remember that they were in an environment foreign to them: ie affluent and classy. Big mistake on her part. The Plasterer dropped his strides and curled out an absolute blinder into the bucket that the muck was to be knocked up in. He got his lad to mix it as usual then proceeded to spread the mix all over the woman's kitchen ceiling. He said that shit gave him as much satisfaction as the 2k he got for the job

arsegrapes 1:50 Fri Nov 30
Re: Worst place you’ve had a poo.

Bro and I stopped to get some fish and chips takeaway for lunch dropped me off in the van at an empty maisonette that I had to drain down the central heating system to avoid burst pipes for the coming winter while he finished off at the last job.

Finished my fish and chips and drained down the system when suddenly I couldn't hold it. I ran upstairs looking for the bog and unzipped but when I lifted up the khaki seat there was no water in the bowl, tried flushing the handle but nothing. Then I realised the stopcock had been turned off, turning it back on would only fill up the central heating system and I would have to drain it down again, besides there was no time to locate it.

The flat had recently been cleared and completely empty, the only thing available was the bag the fish and chips came in which to its testament held strong had to wipe my arse on the fish and chip wrappers which were a bit greasy and slid all over the shop. Bruv came back to pick me up complete with finished fish and chip bag, had to drive with the windows down until we found a bin. Still where there is a will there is a way.

VirginiaHam 1:24 Fri Nov 30
Re: Worst place you’ve had a poo.

How about shits in Thailand (hole, no toilet roll), France or Italy? Some bloke did an absolute shocker in an Italian stand up......huge brown streak, all across the wall., about knee height.

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